The different versions of Ally

The featured image today came from a lovely friend of mine in a card she gave me to celebrate my redundancy. Today I handed my uniform back into the headquarters at Virgin Atlantic, officially ending my 14 year stint at being Air Hostess Ally. I’ve been this Ally for such a long time that she also has several different versions of her. From ‘brand new crew Ally’, to ‘pretend to like snowboarding Ally, to ‘why do people keep throwing up on me Ally?’, to ‘passive aggressive because I hate the general public Ally’. She has had her good and bad moments and now is the time to find the next version of me. And it appears it has been secretly stressing me out.

I have sleptwalked since I was a little girl. I used to go downstairs in my Lady and the Tramp pyjamas at 7 years old and put my face in front of my mother like a possessed demon child. Before my father would go to bed he would check in on me and see me sat bolt upright in bed with my eyes open. Delightful! Most people grow out of it after puberty, but I decided to drag it into my adulthood to scare off boyfriends and guarantee I get a tent to myself when camping with my girlfriends.

Damon is pretty good with it. He just tells me it’s ok and to come back to bed or lie down. I remember a lot of my sleepwalking dreams and usually I am on a mission to find something for someone – usually a pen that they can’t wait till morning for, sometimes I need to open a door for someone, once I had to find a secret box for the MI5! And I’m wracked with anxiety as I can’t find the damn pen (the secret box was in my wardrobe but I couldn’t reach it). It appears it’s anxiety that causes the random night time strolls, and last night I slept walked 4 times. Each time I woke rummaging through the drawers desperately trying to find a pair of grey velour tracksuit bottoms that I desperately needed for a theatre performance… I woke in the morning to find a pile of grey clothes by my bed.

The dodgy choice of attire is not the unusual part here, rather that for once in my adult life I was looking for something for ME…

And that’s the latest version of me. I am doing everything right now for me. I’ve followed rules and policies and brand values for my entire adult life and now I am actually in charge. And it’s scary! But also it’s an incredible feeling. Because although I still haven’t learnt how to use an expense spreadsheet (I drew one instead retro style), and I’m still can’t quite figure out how to blog properly, I know that ever new thing I learn is helping me shape the next Ally. And that Ally booked her first audiobook job today and is pretty frickin proud of herself.